the-richie
amygdalae

Enjoy a drink on one of my special coasters. Yea I custom made them (the coasters) to be so light the drinks condensation makes em stick to the bottom of your glass, but still heavy enough that when it (the coaster) finally clatters to the ground it's loud as fuck and shatters your nerves and makes you spill your drink everywhere. Why am I doing this? Well, it's a sex thing for me

peggingmothman
what-even-is-thiss

Creation myths are weird but to be fair the actual creation of the universe is also pretty weird.

First there’s nothing and then there’s everything all at once and it’s super hot and the dark matter and regular matter fight and there’s barely more regular matter but with the sheer amount of stuff that suddenly exists now that tiny percentage of matter still makes an unfathomable amount of Stuff and then the Stuff becomes a bunch of gas in space and then all that gas in space becomes a bright chemical reaction orb and when those bright chemical reaction orbs die and explode they Make More Stuff and then that More Stuff becomes rock orbs and then one of those rock orbs got lucky enough for the chemical reactions in its oceans to start breathing. And then those things change bit by bit over time until they crawl out of the ocean and Start Having Ideas.

Like that’s weird. No less intuitive than the ocean getting split in half or a duck bringing up dirt from the bottom of the primordial river.

It’s so weird that my grandmother, who didn’t learn about how the universe was made until she was in her 50s, heard how scientifically the universe came to be and was like “Ah I see the Bible creation stories are a metaphor for the billions of years it took and billions of years is difficult for humans to understand so metaphorically it took a God a week but really it was billions of years.”

what-even-is-thiss

And in the middle of all that someone looked at all the other far away chemical reaction orbs and pointed at their pattern and went “that one looks like a bear” like we managed time for that in the middle of all of the chemical reaction orbs and dark and regular matter fighting and the evolution of it all. We got brownies and lemon squares out of all that wtf is going on

what-even-is-thiss

Also where did that singular point of unfathomable energy come from? *massive shrug* nobody knows. Eat this lemon square.

eekwinn

Gasp! It is like maybe symbolic and maybe ancient peoples understood that and didn’t take everything literally.

dduane
dollettefemme

i mean this completely seriously but… a cup of coffee can save your life a little, a shower can save your life a little, making your favorite meal can save your life a little…….little things actually add up to really big things in the long run if you let them, the secret to surviving everyday is infusing a little bit of magic into the mundane i truly believe that

tinytruant
cryptobranchid

i think one of the funniest things ever is how many rock and metal bands are just four or five identical white dudes with long brown hair parted in the middle. like they’ve gotta be cranking these dudes out in a factory at this point. they don’t even have to be in the same genre, you can find them anywhere. they’re like some kind of metal fungus.

cryptobranchid

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these are all different bands

cryptobranchid

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i would love to argue with this but you will never fucking believe what i look like

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